Site created 12/15/97.
review added: 3/15/00
Embrace of the
1994 (1999) - New Line
review by Brad Pilcher of
The Digital Bits
Disc Ratings (Video/Audio/Extras):
Specs and Features
92 mins (R rated version), 93 mins (Unrated version), letterboxed
widescreen (1.85:1), 16x9 enhanced, full frame (1.33:1),
single-sided, dual-layered (extra layer for dual versions), Snapper
case packaging, film-themed menu screens, scene access (19
chapters), languages: English (DD 5.1 and DD 2.0), subtitles:
English, Closed Captioned
"The innocence is
So, you thought Godzilla had
no plot? Well, you haven't seen anything until you've seen
Embrace of the Vampire. Before
she did Poison Ivy 2, Alyssa
Milano bared all for this cheesy flick, and like all good cable
porn, the plot goes only far enough to attempt to justify the sex
scenes. Acting? What's that? Script? It's supposed to be believable?
You're kidding, right?
In all seriousness, this movie sucks. The script is a joke. The
acting is worse. Alyssa Milano drifts from scene to scene,
eventually finding reason for baring her breasts one more time.
Being a child of the 80s, I entered puberty lusting after Milano
from her Who's The Boss days.
So you can imagine how thankful I was (along with millions of other
young boys) to see Milano expand her work into these films.
Unfortunately, puberty has left the building, and Milano has shown
her stuff in a half dozen other different straight-to-video flicks
as well. It would be nice if there was even one shred of decent
acting or dialogue to keep you awake between sex scenes... but there
isn't, so get your fast forward button ready.
Technically, the disc is of good quality. The video is as solid as
you're going to get for straight-to-video, if not spectacular. The
hues come through well with little grain evident. The anamorphic
transfer offers assistance as well, but better-looking transfers
exist, to be sure. So what -- a spectacular transfer isn't necessary
for this movie, just as long as nothing interferes with the lesbian
sex, right? The audio is equally as solid, but again is nothing
spectacular. There just isn't much of a workout on this soundtrack,
which isn't exactly surprising. Since there is no trailer or cast
and crew info, the only real extra is the dual viewing option. New
Line used the widescreen/pan & scan and R-rated/unrated option
(seen in their Poison Ivy DVD
trilogy) again here, and it's a nice bone to throw. Please excuse
If anything, the film is worth it for the copious sight of Alyssa
Milano sans clothing. However, the rest of the movie is a snoozer
and even the sex scenes lack a certain eroticism. It's like watching
your sister get it on with the neighbor boy down the street. Not
that I would know, I don't have a sister. But if I did, I'd want
Milano for the job. But since I don't, at least I got screen