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Hellboy Sammael Bust

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page created: 2/23/04


The 4th Annual Digital Bits Bitsy Awards!

Other DVD Awards for 2003

back to Outstanding Achievements in DVD for 2003

WORST DVD - OVERALL

The Real Cancun (New Line)

In this category this year, we didn't want to simply select a disc that was disappointing or technically inferior. Instead, we wracked our brains trying to come up with the title that most made our skin crawl. Not just a disc that somehow should have been better, but one that really just doesn't need to exist at all. One where the world would actually be a better place if the movie had never been made in the first place. Dumb and Dumberer was briefly considered, but ultimately rejected. After all, we've endured plenty of pointless sequels before and will again. A close second was Boat Trip and its Playboy enhanced menus, the nadir of Cuba Gooding Jr.'s rapidly plummeting career. But finally, the clear victor was New Line's The Real Cancun, a god-awful "spin-off" of MTV's Real World franchise. As staged and pointless a contrivance as the "reality" show genre has ever produced, The Real Cancun is a must-see for everyone who thinks the Girls Gone Wild series is too intellectually challenging. If the choice is watching a bunch of personality-impaired college kids binge drink and flash skin or saving our money, buying some booze and going on a bender of our own, we'll go for the latter every time.


WORST DVD - SPECIAL EDITION

They say misery loves company, so you know we couldn't pick just one title here.

Scarface: Anniversary Edition (Universal)

The only new stuff on this disc was a silly hip-hop documentary talking about Scarface's influence on the art deco of hip-hop artists across the globe. A staple for every fan of MTV's Cribs, for sure, this doc would have fared better as a special feature on the Cribs DVD box set. All the rest of the special features were pulled from the laserdisc release from a few years back, meaning they're dated and nothing new. The only truly worthwhile extra is the original 1932 film this one was based on. Of course, that's exclusive to the $50 Deluxe Gift Set. What a shame.

The Right Stuff: Special Edition (Warner Bros.)

We were thrilled with the picture and sound quality on this new version, and it's great not having to flip the disc over halfway through the film anymore. Unfortunately, the extras left a lot to be desired. There's only 25 minutes of audio commentary (the film is over 3 hours long), the deleted scenes are all non-anamorphic, and the original material created for this dual-disc edition was yawn inducting. Only the already produced PBS documentary is of any real value, and it tells the story of just one of the seven Mercury astronauts. A film this important deserved better.

The Fast and the Furious: Tricked-Out Edition (Universal)

This film deserves a spot here purely on the strength of its title alone. Apparently, Universal's original The Fast and the Furious: Collector's Edition wasn't collected (or collectable) enough, so the studio decided to re-package the film with "tricked-out" new material just to get people to buy it all over again. It shouldn't surprise anyone that most of the new material was designed to tease the sequel.


WORST DVD - STANDARD EDITION

The Pianist (Universal)

Roman Polanski's Oscar-winning triumph is one of his very best films. You'd think if any movie deserved a special edition, it would be this one, right? Well, if you think that, you must be Canadian. Our friends north of the border received an extremely handsome 3-disc package... 2 DVDs and a bonus soundtrack CD. What did we get from Universal here in the States? The movie and that's about it. Even the packaging of the Canadian version is better than the American one. This isn't the first time other countries have produced better DVDs than we Americans get, and no doubt it won't be the last. But it always seems a little more insulting when the superior version is so near and yet so far.


WORST DVD - BOXED SET

American Pie 1 & 2: The Ultimate (But Not Final) Mega-dip (Universal)

If you search for "American Pie DVD" on Amazon.com, you find no less than twenty-three different releases available. That's rather surprising, given that there are only three films in the series. First, there were the Collector's Editions of the first two films, in both R and Unrated versions. Then there were the Ultimate Editions, in both R and Unrated versions again. Now you're telling us that we have to buy these two films all over again just so we can get the new and exclusive Beneath the Crust material? F#*ck that.


WORST DVD - VIDEO

Monty Python's The Meaning of Life: Special Edition (Universal)

Are you sensing a trend here with these Universal DVDs? We'll be the first to say that the studio's new Meaning of Life: Special Edition is a damn fine release... once you get your hands on the version with the properly fixed video, of course. It seems the first version of this disc slipped past the crack Universal Quality Control team with improperly flagged video. So those with progressive scan compatible TVs and DVD players got to watch irritating blurry lines instead of classic Python. Perhaps the QC boys need the machine that goes ping.


WORST DVD - SOUND

Chicago (Miramax/Buena Vista)

Leaving the theatre after seeing Chicago, we thought this was going to sound amazing on DVD. When we finally got the disc home, it was more than a little underwhelming. A couple of years ago, Fox's Moulin Rouge really raised the bar for how movies like this should sound on disc. Maybe we're spoiled, but it seems to us that the first Best Picture-winning musical in decades ought to sound a whole lot better than just okay.


WORST USE OF DVD FEATURES

It a four-way tie. Studios, you should all be proud.

House of 1,000 Corpses (Lions Gate)

All right. What the hell was the exclusive footage shot by Rob Zombie? I hope we missed it, because if it was just the inane chatter between the group of actors (who played the evil family) acting like the evil family, then it sucked.

The Rules of Attraction (Lions Gate)

A Carrot Top commentary? Need we say more?

Kangaroo Jack (Warner Bros.)

Behind the Gas... a featurette on how they found the perfect sound FX to match marsupial flatulence. Yes Warner, there is such a thing as too much information.

Duran Duran: Greatest - The DVD (EMI)

This would be a great DVD... if only all the best extras weren't hidden as nearly-impossible-to-figure-out Easter eggs.


MOST DISAPPOINTING DVD

The Matrix Reloaded (Warner Bros.)

First, the fact that this isn't a special edition should tell you right there that a much more loaded version of this film is coming to DVD in the not too distant future. But what's more disappointing is that the few extras you do get here were designed to A) get you to buy the Enter the Matrix videogame, B) get you to buy The Animatrix DVD, and C) get you to go see The Matrix Revolutions in theaters. Does it get any more shameless than this? Ugh. At this point, we'd like the blue pill please.

The Adventures of Indiana Jones: The Complete DVD Movie Collection (Lucasfilm/Paramount)

This woulda been, coulda been and shoulda been the winner for the Best DVD - Overall and Best DVD - Boxed Set. Unfortunately, a trilogy of films as important as these were released on disc with no audio commentaries, no deleted scenes and nothing of consequence but a documentary by way of extras. That's just plain wrong. To be fair, the documentary was excellent. But this set definitely didn't meet our expectations. And this is the basis for the forthcoming Star Wars Trilogy DVD release? As Han Solo might say, "I gotta bad feeling about this..."

Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins (MGM)

C'mon! This is the movie inspired La Femme Nikita fer Christ's sake! A pan and scan edition with no bonus material? What was MGM thinking?


DIGITAL IN

Independent DVD Producers

Wanna know a secret? Hands down, the very best DVD special editions are being lovingly hand-crafted by independent producers. It was true in 2003, it was true every year before that and it'll be true again in 2004 and beyond. Wanna know why? Most studio execs are NOT movie fans, they're businessmen. They're accountants. They're marketing managers. Independent DVD producers, on the other hand, tend to live and breath movies because they love them with a blinding passion. Who do you think is gonna make the better discs? Our hats off to all the independent producers out there who fight the good fight to ensure that DVDs continue to make the fans smile as big as the studio bean counters.

Digital Video Essentials

Video technologist Joe Kane fights what must be an often lonely battle to ensure that the picture and sound quality you enjoy at home is as good as it can possibly be. His original Video Essentials DVD was an absolutely... well, essential tool for calibrating your home theater equipment. Now, with the new Digital Video Essentials, he's raised the bar again. It's a little tricky to navigate around, and it's probably not for the novice user. But if you're a high-end videophile, it just might be the most important DVD in your collection. If you want to enjoy the most theater-like experience from your home A/V equipment, this disc can help you achieve it.


DIGITAL OUT

David Fincher and 20th Century Fox

David, you know we love you, baby. And Fox. Fooooooox. You guys rock. But the two of you need to bury the hatchet and move on. Okay... so you don't have to work with each other ever again. That's fine. But why did the first-ever, joyfully-awaited, much-overdue special edition of Alien³ have to suffer for your bad blood? Couldn't you have tried counseling first? Alien Quadrilogy was THIS close to perfect. Oh, the humanity!


DVD STUDIO WE WANT MORE FROM

Universal

Damn you, Universal! Why do you make us pick on you? For the second year in a row, Universal gets our DVD Studio We Want More From award. If you've been reading the dubious honors we've bestowed above, you already know why... and trust us when we say that's just scratching the surface. There are signs that this studio is starting to show a little life. They are, after all, finally opening up their vaults to let slip some deeper catalog on disc, and they're finally starting to do something with all those TV properties they own as well. But Jesus... did it really need to take 7 years for them to get a clue?


WORST TREND IN DVD

The Dumbing Down of DVD

Now that DVD has become the new VHS, it seems that all too many studios are trying to squeeze as much blood from the stone as possible, sadly at the expense of quality. The result? Cookie-cutter special editions that are anything but special, cheap packaging, no more insert booklets, too many non-anamorphic catalog releases, DVDs loaded with marketing materials like forced preview trailers and "The Making of the Tie-in Video Game" featurettes, double, triple and even quadruple re-releases of the same titles and the list goes on. Who loses? You do. Love a great, in-depth, multi-disc special edition? Sorry... so many studios these days are producing their SEs with their in-house EPK teams that you're going to see fewer and fewer of them. DVD has unfortunately become the victim of its own success, and there's little hope of this situation changing anytime soon.


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